16 Things I Hate About Parenting

In honor of the sixteenth Anniversary of my Motherhood, I present to you a somewhat surprising list from me: 16 things I Hate About Parenting:

1. The astonishing reality that I have been put in charge of young humans when I'm not actually done yet. At all.

2. How hard I have to work not to think everything from now on is my baby versus the world.

3. The feeling that the future state of society actually does rest on whether I let you skip the spinach. And other good things that aren't cake.

4. Having no control over whether or not you win.

5. The sheer volume of hours logged behind the steering wheel of a motor vehicle that is so NOT the mountain jeep I planned on as a teenager.

6. Not being able to take credit for your character, your kind personality, your good looks, or your faith. And I would really like to, because it's a lot of credit.

7. I didn't like algebra the first time.

8. Not being able to fix it, take it for you, go in your place, or make it go away.

9. Any time it extends between the hours of midnight and 6:00 a.m.

10. The news. Like, every single day.

11. The constant tension of wanting you to be your own person when I totally know what's best.

12. The world still needs soldiers sometimes.

13. Having to think about icebergs and polar bears every time I want a Diet Coke in Styrofoam.

14. Do you know what braces cost?

15. Knowing, even the moment they happen, I can't rewind to the good parts.

16. Redefining brave. It used to mean skydiving. Now it means letting you.

Happy Sixteenth Birthday, John Michael.

Happy Anniversary to me.