so long status quo

Once upon a time, I wanted to work from home. I got lucky and found medical transcription. A good friend started her own company and trained me on the job. I've been doing it for nine years now, and women I meet at the ball field are often jealous. They don't realize that I don't currently have the flexible hours everyone assumes with medical transcription. I have a set shift and punch a cyber time card. They also don't realize I do it eight hours a day. ( I used to do it less. I never got the Sunday night blues when I typed only four or five hours a day. It fit nicely in between playtime and nap times with my children). And they don't realize I have to work on Sunday. But all those things they didn't realize, didn't matter really. Because working from home was my original goal, and I still had that.

But tomorrow is my very last day as a medical transcriptionist. I'd tell you my new title for my new job, but I don't really know what it is. The main idea, though, is that I'll be writing. I'll have to be inventive, and I'll use completely different skills. I'm nervous. I can't say I feel exactly sad to leave transcription. But I still have the sinking feeling that comes with letting go.

The best part, of course, is that I still get to work from home. I like it here. I like the little boys who live here, even the two older ones who dare to summer vacation all around me even now while I'm so distracted over starting a new job. Even the youngest one who as I write this is leaning against his bedroom door over and over so I will realize he is out of the toddler bed and wants returned to it.

I'm terribly afraid I'm going to fail. But I like the feeling that maybe this is brave. The real kind of brave - the kind that leads to happy. A place I'll be able to look back from and thank God that I let go.