the problem with reality

I'm pretty sure I could turn on any reality television show, and even if I had not seen it once up to that point, I would feel devastated and crushed for whatever poor person was eliminated from the contest that week. I. Hate. That. Part. When Steve Gutenberg was voted off Dancing with the Stars, I felt there was definitely no justice for the nice guys. He kept practically reading my own personal treatise about the show, every time he spoke. You know, it could potentially save the world. If not from trouble, then at least from despair. It's just such a happy thing - dancing.

And don't get me started on watching the American Idol kids fade from history. The poor things came so close to their chance and then lost it along with a great big lovely feeling that America itself was rejecting them.

But the one that takes the cake for me, and by cake I mean the prize for the worst elimination process in HISTORY, is Oprah's Big Give. This is just wrong, People. And I don't like it. "You didn't give enough. You're a loser. Go home." Didn't give enough? NOBODY gives enough. Not one of us. And it's exactly that kind of feeling—that even if you try, it still won't be enough—that keeps people from giving at all. It's a strange little game, and I'm not a fan.

They really shouldn't call these reality television anymore. I liked them the first time when they were called Game Shows and the winners at least left with some parting gifts. Where are the parting gifts in reality t.v.?! That's what I want to know. (This tirade excludes The Bachelor. Getting booted off that show IS your parting gift, girls, trust me.) The elimination process in reality t.v. is ridiculously outside of reality.

It's like I keep saying in regards to all the hopes and dreams we all have for success and greatness and getting discovered: Only one person can win a contest. But lots of people win at life.