Or as Jamie would say, "There's a song that's inside of my soul . . ."

There are some things in life I just love - the singing of the national anthem at a sporting event for one. I mean, isn't it amazing for an entire crowd of people to be that respectful toward one thing at the same time? Especially lately when our country is so polarized. (I don't have a label created yet for political commentary because it's probably never going to happen, so I won't expound). Anyway, the anthem moment, the way people in small towns wave at every passing vehicle as if to acknowledge we all belong somewhere, and - the reason I began the list at all today because it's the point to my post - catching someone singing in their car. I love that.

I never really thought about this until one day when I was really soul-weighty. It was during my year with cancer when fear of the unknown and fear of leaving my children sort of hung underneath all other thoughts and kept them from floating. Then I saw someone singing in their car, and I realized like never before, now that is a person free of worry. I vaguely remembered that feeling, and I hoped I would get it again someday. I'm very, very aware now when I feel like singing in the car. Kind of like when I was nauseated for at least five months of my last pregnancy and I told my husband, "Do me a favor. Sometime well after the delivery [of this little monster, I implied but certainly did not mean], just casually ask me one day, 'How's your stomach feel?'" Because I know I will forget this moment. I will forget how awful this is. The nausea will fade slowly one meal, one day, one "what-dolt-called-this-morning-sickness" at a time, and I will completely take for granted the desire to eat and the thrill of not throwing up afterwards."

That's how I feel when I sing in the car now. It reminds me that sometimes in life I haven't felt so happy or so free, and what a wonderful thing that in this moment, I do. I noticed it lately when listening to A Walk to Remember movie soundtrack. It has nice singable songs in it. Dare You to Move by Switchfoot is a great sing-in-the-car song. And there are nice pop/love songs on it and of course the teary, moving, kind of haunting Only Hope, also by Switchfoot but sung on the CD both by them and by Mandy Moore (in character as Jamie Sullivan, Moore explains to us on the DVD commentary for the movie). Anyway, I've felt like singing in the car lately. And I didn't take it for granted. Just like the fact that I wanted, ate, and did not regurgitate all my meals today, all day long. It's a beautiful thing.