Day jobs are undesirable

I met a real live movie producer this year at a writer's conference. He passed out folders full of information about his website for submitting screenplays, and it included a pin that said, "Day jobs suck." I wore it on my belt loop that whole next week. Under my shirt because I didn't really want my children to pick up that little phrase. I grew up in circles that did not approve of that vernacular. And my dad abhors it, which has stayed with me as well. From that same "circle" I met a family once who had replaced the slang with the word "undesirable". Over cyber space it probably just sounds like a lame attempt at censoring , but in person, and considering their sense of humor as a family, it was just very funny and memorable for me. So I adopted it. Unfortunately I've noticed that when most things are undesirable, to use that phrase just does not match my feelings on the matter. The shorter version is much more fitting to the mood. Still, I think it's a pretty good word for day jobs. Because I don't really want to shout or cuss about my day job. I really really want to be grateful for it. But, alas, I am so not. I don't want a day job. I want a job that I love. And at this point I'm in a very stuck sort of place in which I don't know what to do about it all.

I work from home. Currently my youngest is not yet 2. I love working from home. I love that I have a little structure and routine, that I can contribute to our finances, and that we don't have to sell a kidney for the cost of childcare. But eight hours on the computer typing medical reports while my toddler manages with much less attention than I would like to give him - it's taking a toll. I'm not enjoying it. So what's a girl to do? In my free time (that's such a funny imaginary sort of phrase) I am trying to become a published writer. Good luck with that, I am certain you're thinking. But because of that little goal, I can't bring myself to job hunt for yet another Day Job. Is it possible there is a day job out there that isn't just a day job for me? And if not, is trading in one day job for another really going to accomplish anything? I just don't know what to do. I'm leaning towards the grateful chant, "I'm grateful for my job, I'm grateful for not paying childcare, I'm grateful to be home . . . ." and just - you know - getting over myself. The big question is, Can I do it?